@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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