I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
