You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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