the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
