there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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