he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
