I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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