Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize