How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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