the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
