I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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