I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
