sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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