did you get engaged???
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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