Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
