she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Randomize
