But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
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I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
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He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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