some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize