i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
