i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
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OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
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the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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