I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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