you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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