Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
