you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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