Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
the day after is always just damage control
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize