i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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