How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
