we're blogging at a bar
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
