We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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