Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
