I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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