there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
