So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Randomize
