Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
