I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Randomize
