Heybabeimwearingurpanties
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
