I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?