paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
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bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
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I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole