So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
you didnt know i had herpes?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
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Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
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Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams