About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
