My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
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Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
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Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?