I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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