yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
