i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
