Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
