summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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