There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
