If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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