It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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