I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize