her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I've blown a few things in my day
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
My dick has a subreddit
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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