No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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