So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
