nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
