How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize