Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
