So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
