I accidentally had phone sex last night
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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