Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
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according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
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We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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