Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
