there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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