We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
