His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
