She's JV to your varsity
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
