I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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